Here's the deal...I have always thought that Paris Hilton was an abomination but having spent the last 4 days at the Airport Hilton I now see that she is simply a product of her environment. I have spent 4 days laughing my ass off that Dante couldn't have been here to see his Inferno was just a walk in the park.Thusfar I have spent $18 for breakfast, $25 foir a steak and $7 for a beer. There is a psychotic perversity in the building which seems to be embarrassed for all the guests have to put up with that it tries to keep you out of your room. I have a key card - which has seemed to propogate like a rabbit. Although I keep it completely segregated from all cards in a completely different pocket, I have nonetheless had to replace it 3 times in 4 days.This last replacement almost turned me into a scene from "The Shining"...":Here's Johnny!"So I go down to the store to get SOMETHING that costs less than a Mercedes ... Some natcho chips...a drink and back to my mausaleum but the room tries to save me from the sarcophagus chamber 532 by denying me access yet again..."Don't you get it ... Please save yourself ... Leave! ". Back down to replace my key... And the line is huge... I have a vision - "The man with the rifle shoots the rifle. When the man with the rifle is killed, the man behind the man with the rifle picks up the rifle..."The man with the rifle shoots the rifle. When the man with the rifle is killed, the man behind the man with the rifle picks up the rifle... And so I wait in line... 15 minutes later only 2 people have graduated to their private Gizas so I figure why not go for a $7 beer and let the line thin...Do you know some people actually have lingering little CHATS (pardon me for shouting) off I go ... Not even a pretty waitress.. I return only six people left...slowly steadily sorta like cancer I approach the desk. Finally I'm next Rajit and Singh behind the desk are trying their best ... Reminiscence of the Raj. The Air Canada flight attendant ahead of me is almost finished when a young Hindi woman steps up beside her... The Attendant says "You know there is a line". But I don't hear the response and she is served ahead of me. I give Rajit myvery best roll the eyes ...what the *#/! look and am rewarded with at least an embarrassed look... When I throw my keycard on the reception counter and request my 3rd key in 4 days I can't believe they ask me for I'd ... "Sorry Singh but it's LOCKED IN MY ROOM". I get a new key and an apology but though I would see increasingly more South Asian patrons I never got the chance to meet the princess. Tomorrow I will leave never to return and may this edifice receive the desolate emptiness it so desires. I understand Paris so much better now.

The Common Man